The backyard pool: luxury, headache — and bathtub?

I’m writing this poolside, on a beautiful, summer day. It is a true luxury and I am thankful for, this little oasis in my backyard. Though my husband threatens, at least once a year, to fill it in, the rest of us love having a swimming pool.

Growing up, I desperately wanted my own pool and took every opportunity to annoy the bajesus out of my parents by asking for one, incessantly. Of course I knew we couldn’t afford it, but I even found some room in the budget. It seemed that a pool would better serve us than expensive orthodontic appliances. I mean, my sisters were (and still are) beautiful, with or without straight teeth. Didn’t they think it was a little selfish to deprive me of the joy of pool ownership?

As an adult, I’ve been a homeowner at two different addresses, each with an in-ground pool. It wasn’t long after our first season as pool people began that I started to see the down sides of this. I had always thought that the expense of having a pool was in the installation. It turns out, I was horribly wrong.

Every year, every single year, our pool has had some major expense associated with it. We’ve replaced fences (more then once). We’ve redone the patio (at each house). Pools need coping and liners. There are robots that clean for you and covers that prevent your child, your neighbors child and even pets, from drowning in the pool. Filters don’t last all that long and as I’ve learned, the pump is not a part of the filter, but another necessary, costly component. And don’t get me started on the array of chemicals needed when it gets opened and closed each year.

Early on, I started to understand Brian’s desire to fill it in. But that would just mean more lawn for me to mow or garden beds that would be overrun with weeds. I’ll keep the pool.

We’ve explained to our kids that the pool is our summer vacation. Every year, the expense equals what we could have spent on a family vacation. They love hearing that. Who needs Disney when you can have a party in your own back yard?? Hey, they have to have something to complain about on the therapist’s couch. And they don’t read my blog, so they have no idea how much material they’re missing out on.

I do, however, have a huge pet peeve about the pool. The pool is here for recreation, cooling off and even socializing. The pool is not a bath. Nor is it a shower. In no way does one exit the pool clean. In fact, I would go so far as to suggest showering or bathing AFTER swimming in a pool. Or the sound, bay or ocean.

This line of thinking seems to have me at odds with many people I know. One of them happens to live in my house and, along with me, has been charged with the health and welfare of our offspring. And it seems a trend among those of the male persuasion.

I’ve asked my son, “Did you shower today?” and have gotten the response, “I went in the pool.” I believe I asked a yes or no question. This answer is neither. But in his world, it signifies a resounding, “Yes!” And he has the full support and endorsement of his father.

Not for nothing, but I have cleaned out the skimmer baskets in my pool. Aside from the massive amounts of leaf debris, there are dead bugs. Thousands of them. And on more than one occasion, drowned rodents. I know, there’s a chemical cocktail running through the water that could sterilize a cockroach, but doesn’t that just make it worse?

Oh and here’s a thought, the pool doesn’t have soap. Last I checked, one doesn’t clean oneself with dead-bug water. You need a cleaning agent that removes the filth and death. Please don’t suggest using soap in the pool. Not only have the menfolk in my life already had this idea, but I’m pretty sure it will require the use of even more nasty chemicals to return the water to its unnatural balance.

Let’s just admit that one needs to bathe after a round in the pool, not during.

If I finally convince them to take a proper shower, I am hopeful there will be washing AND shampooing. I can dream, can’t I? Most major name-brand, store bought shampoos are either laden with chemicals, or if not, quite expensive.

Natural Homemade Shampoo

Wellness Mama has an awesome and easy to make homemade shampoo recipe. Give it a try.

Ingredients

1/4 C. coconut milk (UPDATE: a couple of readers mentioned that the canned stuff did not work well for them, but that homemade coconut milk worked great… Depending on your hair type, homemade may be better for you)
1/3 C. Liquid Castille Soap (like Dr. Bronner’s)
1/2 tsp. (or several capsules) of Vitamin E oil (completely optional)
20 drops of Essential Oils of choice (I’ve used peppermint, lavender, rosemary and orange or combinations of those)
For dry hair: add 1/2 tsp. olive or almond oil (optional)

Directions:

Combine all ingredients in an old shampoo bottle or jar of some kind (pump soap dispensers and even foaming dispensers work well for this. If you use a foaming dispenser, add 1/4 cup of distilled water)
Shake well to mix.
Keep in shower for up to a month.
Shake before each use.
Use about a teaspoon every time you shampoo.
If you use a foaming dispenser, it also makes a great shaving cream- just dilute with 1/4 cup distilled water!

What disgusting life choices have the men in your life made that cause you to wonder about the survival of the gender? Share you horror story with me at laurie@riverheadlocal.com.

Laurie Nigro, a mother of two, is passionate about natural living. Laurie resides in downtown Riverhead and is co-founder of the River and Roots Community Garden on West Main Street.