About that shoe fetish…

As the weather changes, I am reminded of all the work that needs to be done. There are vegetables to harvest and garden beds to clean and clear. The rest of the yard needs a little attention, as well. Inside, it’s time to switch the summer bedding to winter and hang up the heavy curtains.

But, it’s hard to know just when to make all these changes. Autumn brings cool breezes and chilly nights, but will also throw a warm day our way, reminding us that summer was not quite so long ago. This presents a unique challenge to many of us who switch out our summer and winter clothing. If I bring out the winter gear, where in 1930s-era-idiotic-closet-design am I going to put all the clothes and shoes until we are ready for the complete transformation?

The easiest way to deal with this is to not take the winter clothes out, just yet. I’ve heard it’s become quite fashionable to wear socks with slides. Plus, I leave enough sweatshirts out year-round to make all the sundresses wearable long into October. And honestly, my daughter is 10 years old and adorable. She can make flip flops and fleece work.

I suppose that I should clarify. The issue of clothing/shoe storage is a problem only for the females of the house. There is no need to switch out the boys’ clothes. It’s either a t-shirt or a long sleeve t-shirt, sweat shorts or sweatpants. It can all fit in the dresser and closet space they’ve been allotted. As far as shoes, well I think that between the two of them, they have six pairs, for the whole year. I’m pretty sure that I have six pairs of wool slippers. And then two or three more in other fabrics. Nobody likes cold feet.

When I am finally forced to let the two seasons’ attire co-mingle, it’s a bloody mess. As I mentioned, my 1930s home was not designed for a woman who has an affinity for shoes. Let alone two women that have an affinity for shoes. I started to realize that we might have a problem when I found myself having this conversation with my mini-me.

“Mom, is it cold enough today for me to wear my winter boots?”

“Which winter boots?”

“The black ones.”

“Which black ones? The snow boots or the ones from Grandma?”

“Which ones from Grandma? And which Grandma?”

“The tall black ones.”

“The mid-tall or the tall-tall?”

“OK, you’re going to miss the bus. Let’s just say no snow boots, but the mid-tall and tall-tall ones are all fine.”

You can see why I’m concerned. When she was safely on the bus in her black, tall-tall Grandma Vi boots, I did a mental count. Just of her boots. And then I hung my head in shame. I can’t fault the child, the shoe didn’t fall far from the shoe tree.

I haven’t done a complete count in a very long time, but I am quite sure that I have more then 50 pairs of shoes. And boots. Or maybe that excludes boots. It definitely excludes slippers. Listen, I know it sounds like a lot, but one never knows when they may need a certain shoe again. Do you know how hard it is to find a heel that is the perfect compromise between gold and brown, but with more of gray tone than a champagne? Particularly if you have a dress that is of the same shade and requires such a rare and unicorn-esque shoe? Maybe I haven’t worn either in five years, but what if?

The major problem, as I mentioned, is that the storage issue is pretty serious. Nearly all 50-plus pairs of shoes currently reside under my bed. I know, it’s sort of crazy. OK, it’s super crazy, but did I mention that I have no freaking closets? Besides, the little bit of closet space I do have needs to support my 62 dresses.

So, under the bed it is. And then, each time I need a shoe, it’s a horrifying event that requires a flashlight and ends in a huge mess of heels, flip flops and wedges. And there’s cursing. I find myself laying on the floor on my side, reaching desperately and randomly into the abyss, hoping to find, by feel, the mate to whatever shoe is on one of my feet. Because there is no rhyme or reason to the shoe wasteland.

Sometimes, I tell myself that I should maybe get rid of some shoes. But then I have a good laugh, take a deep breath and dig for my other sneaker so I can get out of the house before spin class starts.

If you love your shoes and treasure the shiny beauty they represent, you know that they have to be cared for. However, commercial shoe polish is a combination of horrifying ingredients. You can make your own in minutes. Try this recipe from frugalliving.com:

INGREDIENTS:

Olive oil
Lemon juice

PREPARATION:

Combine one part lemon juice to two parts olive oil to form a polish. Use a clean cloth to rub a small amount of the polish into your shoes. Then, allow it to soak in for a few minutes. Buff with another cloth, and enjoy your shiny shoes!

Tips and Warnings:

Apply to clean, dry shoes.
Repeat monthly or as needed to extend the life of your leather shoes.
Cheap olive oil works just as well as more expensive grades.

I don’t expect many people to sympathize with me this week. I understand that I have a problem. I only ask that you don’t judge until you’ve walked a mile in my not-quite-champagne-but-not-gold-either heels.

Laurie Nigro, a mother of two, is passionate about her family, her community, and natural living. Laurie resides in downtown Riverhead and is co-founder of the River and Roots Community Garden on West Main Street. Contact her by email to laurie@riverheadlocal.com.