Raging hormones dressed in tall boots and excessive nail polish: OMG!
How will I survive the tween years?

There is nothing more innocent, precious and beautiful then childhood friendships. Little kids don’t care what color a friend is or what religion they practice. It doesn’t matter what your hair looks like or how many toys you have, if a kid thinks you’re a good person, then you are a good person. And if they think you’re a great person, then you’re probably their best friend.

I have been blessed to have lifelong friendships. A few of my closest friends have been with me since we were all wishing for our new front teeth. We’ve faced acne and adolescence, broken hearts and bad grades, summers at the beach and winters curled up on the couch watching bad horror movies.

We’ve made poor decisions when shopping for prom dresses (the year of the sequins was a visual assault not easily forgotten) and even worse ones when choosing boyfriends. Together, we’ve thrown our caps in the air to punctuate the end of our childhood and then thrown our bouquets to one another to begin the rest of our lives. We’ve shared rundown apartments and more than a few road trips, the details of which will be taken to our graves.

We’ve spent thousands of hours crying, laughing, yelling, talking and then laughing a little more. We’ve shared secrets that hurt too much to keep in and told stories that no one else understands. Usually, because we’re speaking over one another and literally, no one can understand us.

My best friend held my hand as I welcomed my first child into the world and then held my baby safe when I started hemorrhaging. And when it was her turn to become a mom, I’m the one who got the phone call at 10 p.m., as she headed to the hospital.

Many years ago, these women became my sisters. And though I have two of the most amazing sisters that have ever existed (seriously, I hit the freaking sister jackpot), my friends slipped right into the role like they were born to be there.

Which makes it so much fun to watch my daughter and my bestie’s daughter grow up together. They are the first friends the other ever had. They are six weeks apart and have never gone more than 10 days without seeing one another. We had matching slings to carry them and now they have matching iPhones to Facetime one another. It’s funny how that happened…

I love to look back at baby pictures, with their chubby cheeks and toothless smiles. They were like two peas in a pod. And now that they are in the glorious tween years, that sister-like bond is so strong, that they behave like true sisters. And by that I mean that they say things to each other that makes the witch-o-meter spin out of control.

I’d like to blame Disney. Partly because the characters in those tween-y shows are so obnoxious and nasty that were they in a real school, the social worker would have pulled them out and initiated bullying protocols. And partly because it’s way easier to throw the blame on someone else than it is to figure out when and how my beautiful baby girl turned into a cliche of raging hormones dressed in tall boots and excessive nail polish.

I think back to those years in my life and am forced to recall, through the haze of perfect nostalgia, that I never really liked adolescent girls; even, or especially, when I was one. What makes young girls believe that we are so worldly and wise, when we are really just crazy and terrified?

Watching my daughter and her lifelong friends, as they glom on the girl-itudes, is downright painful. Not only am I amazed that at the end of the day they are still speaking to one another, I am shocked that they actually seemed to have enjoyed themselves.

After a sleepover at a friend’s house, a friend she’s had for seven of her 10 years, my little princess went on and on about what a great time she had and how she wished she could have stayed longer. (I believe this was a dig at me as I had come to pick her up before her highness deemed it was acceptable.)

This conversation came after the one that I’d had with the friend’s mom, another awesome woman in my life. She spent five minutes apologizing for the awful way her daughter had treated mine. “She said such terrible things.” Clearly, it didn’t have any lasting effect.

And then there is the tween speak. When I chauffeur these children around, they seem to forget I am in the vehicle. Or they just don’t care because they have deemed me old and irrelevant. Either way, I catch things like, “OMG (they say the actual letters) your outfit is totes adorbs!” and I nearly cut my tongue through as I hold back my comments. Instead, I just keep repeating, silently, inside my head, “Only 10 more years. Only 10 more years.”

Hey, at least they’re not dating. Yet…

Surviving this time in my life will be easier (for my daughter) if we can find some common ground. We both love shopping at thrift stores, so there’s that. We also both love to bake. And since a tween’s income opportunities are limited, my baby girl and her friends regularly set up booths at the end of our driveway, selling everything from rainbow loom bracelets (thank the Lord that trend moved on) to freshly baked muffins and cupcakes. Last summer, they even named the stand “Mommy’s Little Cupcakes.” Brilliant, right?

Our favorite cupcakes are from My Gluten Free Kitchen (). We didn’t make the frosting because we were pressed for time, but it looks fantastic. Instead, we melted milk chocolate chips, rolled the top of the cupcake in the chocolate and topped with fresh berries. They were totes delish.

Chocolate Cupcakes with Fudge Frosting
Gluten-free

Cupcakes:
2 cups Gluten Free Mama’s all-purpose almond blend flour (we use Bob’s Red Mill 1 for 1 GF flour)
1 1⁄2 tsp. xanthan gum (omit if using a flour blend that contains xanthan)
2 cups sugar
1 tsp. baking soda 1⁄4 tsp. salt
1 cup salted butter 1⁄3 cup cocoa powder
1 cup water
1⁄2 c. buttermilk
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla extract

Fudge frosting:
1⁄2 cup butter
1⁄2 cup cocoa powder
3 2⁄3 cup powdered sugar 6-7 Tbsp. milk
1 tsp. vanilla

Instructions
For the cupcakes
1. Line a muffin pan with paper liners and set aside.
2. In your mixing bowl, combine flour, xanthan gum, sugar, baking soda, and salt and set aside.
3. In a medium saucepan, combine butter, cocoa, and 1 cup water. Bring just to boiling, whisking constantly.
Remove from heat and add to dry ingredients, beat until combined.
4. Add buttermilk, eggs, and vanilla and beat for one minute on low-medium speed.
5. Pour batter into cupcake liners. I use a large scoop that measures about 1/3 cup batter into each opening.
6. Bake at 350° for 17 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean or with a few crumbs (no wet batter).
7. Let cool in pan for 4 minutes, then remove cupcakes. Wait to frost until completely cool.
8. *You can also bake this as a cake in a 9×13″ pan for ~35 minutes or in two 8″ cake pans for 22 minutes.

For the fudge frosting
1. Using a medium glass bowl, melt the stick of butter in microwave. Whisk in cocoa powder, then heat for 1 minute. Add powdered sugar and milk alternately, beating with a hand mixer until creamy. Add vanilla last, beating in until mixed well.
2. If you use this frosting while still warm, it is easily spreadable and has the glossy finish when dried like you see in the photo but can slide off of whatever you are frosting. If you let it cool completely, then it firms up and can be placed into a pastry bag for piping for decorating cakes or cupcakes. The icing can be refrigerated to use later; just microwave 10 seconds at a time, and stir, until you get to the right consistency for piping or spreading.

Laurie Nigro, a mother of two, is passionate about her family, her community, and natural living. Laurie resides in downtown Riverhead and is co-founder of the River and Roots Community Garden on West Main Street.

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