Don’t wait for your ‘bucket list’ adventures — find joy and fulfillment in the ‘ordinary,’ every day

The phrase “bucket List” was popularized in the 2007 movie of the same name starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. In case you need a memory jog, the film follows two terminally ill men who head off on a road trip with a list of things to do before they kick the bucket.

Many folks have created bucket lists and I agree with the premise, to a point. It is important to shoot for a long- long-held goal, dreams we want to fulfill or a life event we want to experience with one caveat: Sometimes our bucket lists or whatever one calls their life-markers are out of touch with what we can realistically accomplish.

I may never learn to surf in Bali, chase a tornado, climb Mount Everest or write the great American novel— well, maybe I can manage the novel. Seriously, folks, these accomplishments may be of interest to some, but as of today, they are definitely not on my horizon. But who knows? I have my personal list. Notice I do not use the word ”bucket.” I don’t like the connotation of kicking the bucket, just yet! My list includes, but is not limited to, a trip to Sicily to visit my ancestral home.

While brainstorming for this article, I thought of the things I have done or left undone, achieved or failed to accomplish thus far during my roller-coaster ride through life. There have been big happenings, small happenings and events that were random but surprisingly fulfilling.

As I stated earlier, while I agree with the concept of compiling a bucket list, it seems to me that it may be perceived as a race against time and death. I have to do such and so before I “kick the bucket.” What pressure! My philosophy is to maximize my existence and the gift of life by celebrating the commonplace stuff of life.

If you are like me, chances are you live your days caught up in a flurry of day-to-day activities—so much so that we sometime lose sight of the message: Every breath we draw and every person we encounter is an opportunity to experience the “glorious ordinary.”

Makes me wonder: How often do we open our hearts to the potential in every moment?

If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone say: “Ah, It’s the same sh*t, different day,” I would be looking at a new Coach pocketbook. I am always surprised, then saddened when I encounter this pessimistic way of thinking — especially from the younger generation.

Ask any of these folks what they would give to have their ordinary lives back:

The recent widow who can barely put one foot in front of the other, and hopes that the ground doesn’t give way.

The lonely divorced guy who catches a glimpse of an intact family picnicking in the park.

A son or daughter who “dutifully” calls their parent every morning on a hands free phone while driving to work. One day, by rote, she will start to auto dial — and then, with a jolt of recognition realize that “duty” no longer calls.

Working in health care for most of my adult life, I have witnessed the struggles of the chronically and terminally ill. Their lives are consumed by doctor’s appointments and ongoing testing. And if they are one of the lucky ones and have beat their disease, they may be haunted by the “shadow of the shadow” of their illness returning. I will bet dollars to donuts they would not be complaining too much about the weather.

Speaking of which, stop it already! I know it has been cold. And yes, we feel like we are living in the “Antarctic tundra” instead of the North Fork. The cold weather saps us physically and mentally, I get it! And yet, many folks, myself included, have ventured out and wandered about the beaches and wooded areas inhaling the sparkling beauty that surrounds us.

A little aside: There are the most amazing photographs posted on Facebook by noted photographers and wannabes. I am not knocking folks who flee to Florida, but I’ll wager they have never seen or been touched by Mother Nature’s epic handiwork.

By this time in life, many of us have had our ordinary life snatched away. We may have suffered the death of a loved one, divorce or health challenges. Magically life has a way of giving back some of what we have lost—perhaps in a different way. But first we need heed Jackie Gleason’s words and realize: “How sweet it is!”

And it is. We take so much for granted. Periodically it’s good to step back and take a closer look at our lives. How often do we venture out of doors and breathe deeply? Or take in the beautiful sunrise and sunsets that those who live on the North Fork are privy too?

Things do not have to be that big to give us a sense of delight: Cuddling on the couch with someone we love while watching a favorite TV show. Hearing the words “I love you.” Children’s laughter. A card from a friend saying, “I care.” Having a hot meal and a warm bed every night. Living in a country where freedom is our birthright.

Sure it’s great to have a bucket list and entertain the possibility of fulfilling all our dreams, but while we contemplate our adventures let’s remember to look outside our front door. We may spend our lives working toward a goal, convinced that if we if we can only get there, we will be truly happy. Today, ordinary today, is a gift—and trust me on this: Tomorrow is not a given.

Mitch Albom writes in his book titled, “For One More Day:” “You can find something truly important in an ordinary minute.” We all long to live passionate, rather than passive lives. What a surprise to find that events that seemed random and mundane will, in time, stitch together and create the quilt of our glorious ordinary life.

Celia Iannelli is a native New Yorker enjoying a second career — in ‘retirement’ — as a freelance writer. She lives in Jamesport.

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