God’s grace: infinitely more than we imagined

“God never gives you more than you can handle.”

If I had a dollar for every time I have heard that comment over the years, I would be a millionaire. Wouldn’t that be wonderful!

The comment is meant to be encouraging, a kind of affirmation of super-human strength, or a contest, with God as the judge.

But, there’s at least two problems with this statement:

• The supposition that God gives or punishes us with trials doesn’t jive with a complete understanding of the Old and New Testaments.
• I have way more on my plate than one person can handle (as do most caregivers).

Yes, it’s true the Bible does give examples of God’s justice being wrought through trials and tribulations, (especially the Old Testament), but overwhelmingly, these are consequences of our deliberate actions. As any good parent knows, you have to let kids be kids sometimes to help them to grow in wisdom.

My Dad, a father of eight, always said that kids should stay in a freezer until they’re 25. Funny thing is, neuroscience has caught up to my Dad’s wisdom as research proves the frontal lobes, the part of our brains that are responsible for executive functions and good decision-making abilities, isn’t fully developed until we reach 25! I came to appreciate his wisdom, at least since I turned 25!

A deeper understanding of God’s justice and mercy can only be apprised in the context of the whole Bible, including the New Testament, where Jesus teaches us to call God “Abba”, Hebrew for “Daddy,” (Mt. 6:9 ) and says, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do” (Lk. 23:34), as He dies on the Cross. The whole Bible reveals God as love, much more than we can comprehend.

I don’t believe God creates our suffering. I do believe He allows us to struggle so that we may come to trust God and believe in God’s love for us.

People usually think the statement, about God only giving you what you can handle, is somewhere in the Bible. But it’s not. The closest thing there is to that statement is this verse:

“… And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. When you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” 1 Cor 10:13

This verse specifically refers to temptation, not trials. When we struggle, a battle ensues in our hearts. For me the temptations often have to do with struggles against hope. Those temptations include things like discouragement and resentment and hopelessness. But, like that scripture promises, God always provides a way out of those temptations so that we can endure it.

When people say to me that the Lord never gives you more than you can handle, I think of what “more” means to me. It’s true, maybe it does seem God allows more trials in some people’s lives. But with more trials, there is more grace to endure. Through adversity, we come to a greater appreciation of others, of peace and of health.

The best description of “more” I have ever read is this:

“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or imagine.” Ephesians 3:20

This definition of more isn’t about the weight of our difficulties and it’s not based on our feeble attempts at perfection, or even our strength. It’s solely based on GOD’S POWER working in us, which can do MORE than we can even imagine.

My daughter, Johanna has taught me a great deal about imagination and how it affects our confidence and our ability to overcome difficult circumstances. Because of ongoing brain injury, Johanna has significant memory impairment. She’s really not reliable for details. But that doesn’t keep her from telling a great story!

Just today, Jo was telling someone a story about how Taffy, her service dog, swam out into the bay and rescued her. She went into details about how Taffy pulled her to safety and essentially saved her life. The only problem is that about half of the details were accurate.

Taffy did indeed try to pull the dock Johanna was sitting on in the bay, by tugging at the rope which fasten it to the shore. But at all times, Johanna and Taffy were safe. Still, because Jo couldn’t recall all the details, she imagined Taffy’s heroism in a far greater light. It was a wonder indeed.

Some people would call that embellishing the truth or even lying. But Johanna doesn’t have a deceitful thought in her mind. For those who know Jo, we understand it’s simply her way of adding even brighter details to an already inspiring life. I can only aspire to see life as the gift she sees it as and to imagine even greater days ahead.

We hold that same ability to imagine God doing great things in our difficult circumstances and in our life, and that’s only the beginning.

God has promised us so much more. Imagine that.

For me, one way God provides a way out is through dreams. God often speaks to me in dreams.

When I was younger, I had a dream of Jesus standing in front of me with His heart wide open, so that I could see into it. His heart was like the images of the Sacred Heart, where his heart is a burning flame on top and tiny thorns surround his heart.

In the dream, I eagerly rushed towards Jesus’ heart to pull some of the thorns out of his heart. I wanted to ease the pain of God’s heart.

But He stopped my hand and asked me, “Do you know what you are doing?”

I replied, “Yes, Lord, I replied, “I want to take some of the thorns out of your heart and put them in my own heart.”

Jesus smiled me and said, “Then I will do it.”

With that, Jesus took three thorns from His own heart and gently arranged them in my heart.

When I woke from the dream, all I felt was love – more love than I had ever felt in my life.

I have often thought of that dream and how I could see it as God hand picking certain “thorns” or suffering for me to endure. I do think that’s possible, but only because I wanted to share in God’s heart. I received so much more in return.

Eileen Benthal is a writer, speaker and wellness coach with a B.A. in Theology from Franciscan University. She is the author of Breathing Underwater: A Caregiver’s Journey of Hope.