Riverhead High School football coach Paul D. DeCabia died on November 22, 2015. He was 65 years old.
A natural teacher, DeCabia spent most of his life surrounded by children. After graduating from Marist College with a degree in education, DeCabia went on to teach middle schoolers at Saints Philip and James School in St. James.
But it wasn’t until he and his wife Kathleen moved to Riverhead that he was able to combine teaching with his other passion: football.
“Football was his first love,” Kathleen said today. “He loved the game, and coaching gave him the chance to pass on his knowledge.”
After moving to Riverhead in 1993, DeCabia began coaching for the local PAL football league, where both of his sons were on teams. When his sons started playing for Riverhead High School, DeCabia began volunteering to coach there as well.
He stayed long after they graduated, finishing his final season this year, less than a month before his death.
“He was more than a coach,” said Bryan Aguilar, a former Riverhead football player who graduated in June. “He was a father figure that a lot of kids didn’t have.”
Aguilar played on both the junior varsity and varsity teams at Riverhead. “What he really taught everyone was that it didn’t matter what size you are, but how much heart you put into it,” Aguilar said. “No matter how big or how small you are, as long as you don’t look back, you learn from your mistakes, you can do anything.
“He was one of the greatest influences on my life,” Aguilar said. “I just wish I could have said a final goodbye.”
Coaching football, Kathleen DeCabia said, gave her husband purpose.
“He loved the kids,” she said. “Teaching was his forte.”
When he wasn’t volunteering on the football field, DeCabia spent the past several years running a title reading business out of his Baiting Hollow home.
He was also a creative and enthusiastic cook, spending hours on his computer gathering recipes. “He cooked everything,” Kathleen said. “You name it, he cooked it.”
Thanksgiving was one of his favorite holidays. He had already purchased most of this year’s menu, preparing lists of recipes and cooking times.
“The turkeys were in the fridge,” Kathleen said. “Everything was ready to go.”
DeCabia married Kathleen in 1982 in Huntington. They had two sons, Daniel and Brian, who also live in Baiting Hollow.
The family will receive visitors Friday at the McLaughlin Heppner Funeral Home from 2 to 4 and 7 to 9 p.m. A funeral Mass will be held at St. John the Evangelist Church on Saturday at 9:30 a.m.
After the funeral, DeCabia’s remains will be brought to McKillop Football Field on Pulaski Street one final time. Riverhead High School’s head football coach, Leif Shay, requests that past and present Riverhead football players gather in front of Pulaski Street School Saturday to ring the victory bell in DeCabia’s honor.
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