Standing beneath the Cross: A Passion Sunday reflection

In most Christian Churches, today is considered Palm and/or Passion Sunday. Palm Sunday refers to the triumphant entry of Jesus riding a donkey into the Jerusalem while onlookers laid their cloaks and palm branches on the way. Passion Sunday refers to the Gospel accounts (Matthew 26-28, Mark 14-16, Luke 22-24 and John 13-21) which tell the story of Jesus’ Passion and death on the Cross. Often dramatic presentations of the Passion are used to tell the story. In these presentations there is usually a part for the congregation to read. Mostly, we end up as the jeering crowd who in the end are crying out, “Crucify him!” I like dramatic presentations of the Bible, though I rarely enjoy being assigned a part amongst the jeering crowd. I wonder if you feel that way too. As I was praying over the Passion readings the other day, I was struck with the other people in these accounts. I found parts of myself in every one of them.

When I was young, reading about Judas Iscariot, Jesus’ betrayer, I wondered how he could ever commit such a horrible sin as to give Jesus up to his attackers for a few pieces of silver. But then I start to wonder if I do the same when I obsessively worry about money and allow my mind to become clouded with fearful thoughts rather than entrusting it all to the Lord’s tender care. Do I not trade my devotion for obsession and betray my confidence in the Lord’s care for me.

I love to imagine that I am a devoted disciple like the rest of them who stayed at the Last Supper after Judas made his exit. From dinner they followed Jesus into the Garden of Gethsemane where Jesus prayed, “Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet, not my will but as you will.”(Mt 26:39) In my imagination this intimate time with Jesus, his last hours before the crucifixion would be so precious and holy. Yet the Scripture reads that three times, Jesus turned to his disciples and found them asleep. I can really relate to falling asleep in prayer, and missing the grace that God is truly trying to give me.

As I read on, I am certain that I would never condemn or judge the Lord like Pilate did. Then I remember how I have judged others for their actions and their speech. The elders and the chief priests in the Gospel accounts are the religious leaders of the day, the keepers of the law and the examples of holiness. How often have I given over to legalism and religiosity to define boundaries that make me feel secure. I can never imagine myself taunting Jesus the way the guards ridiculed and disrespected Jesus as they prepared him for the way of the cross. Scripture says they “mocked him”. Then I think of times when I have joked about other’s weaknesses or ridiculed them because of their actions. Jesus was clear: “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” (Mt. 25:40)

When I read about Simon of Cyrene, who was “pressed into service to carry the cross” (Mt 27:32), I wonder how Simon felt as he was pulled from the crowd to help Jesus. From the vantage point of Easter Sunday, this appears a lofty service. But when I am “pressed into service” to care for a loved one in need, do I respond willingly or begrudgingly? Finally, I consider the thief on the Cross- who hung there because he deserved to die. Was he cursed or better off than me? For Jesus promised this common thief “this day you will be with me in paradise.”

My favorite place in the Passion accounts comes from the Gospel of John 19:24-25:
“Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother, and the disciple whom he loved standing near, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.” I feel at home standing at the foot of the cross with Mary.

I remember the first time I truly felt like Mary at the foot of the Cross. Johanna was about three years old. She had recently weaned and I was adjusting to finding new and creative ways to comfort her beyond nursing. She liked cuddling in bed, with blankets and stuffed animals. She enjoyed music and was readily distracted when we could get her to focus on a song. But when it came time to put in an IV, she started to scream before the nurses even came near her with the needle. By the time she was three, she had had just under 20 surgeries. Her little veins were hard to access and when they were accessed, they rolled easily, collapsing quickly went the IV line was flushed. Her hands and feet were marked with little white dots from being stuck so many times since she was three months old. When the nurses came into the hospital room to start another IV, I helped them hold her down. We tried for a very long time, taking breaks every few minutes to let Johanna calm down. As I held her down and she screamed, an image of Mary at the foot of the cross drifted through my mind. I thought how hard it must have been to watch your Son suffer and die.

For many years, I have spent Holy Week walking with Mary. I can relate to the pain she felt watching her Son suffer. And so it is that Mary inspires me to remain present to my loved ones, when they suffer. She reminds to be there for them, no matter how hard it is to be present when I don’t have a solution. Like Mary, I try to “Ponder and treasure God’s word in my heart” (Luke 2:19), believing that one day we will see a Resurrection.

Yesterday, Pope Francis tweeted, “How beautiful it is to stand before the Crucifix, simply to be under the Lord’s gaze, so full of love.” (EG 264)

Standing beneath the Cross is a reminder of the love Jesus has for me and for you. No matter whether we find ourselves behaving like a betrayer, a disciple, a condemning judge, a religious fanatic or a grieving mother, Jesus loves us just the same. We don’t have to be perfect; with pious prayers or devotions or even live a life of exemplary faith. We just have to say yes and receive this love as a gift. In receiving this incredible free gift of Salvation, our lives can be transformed by the power of God’s love.

Eileen Benthal is a writer, speaker and wellness coach with a B.A. in Theology from Franciscan University. She and her husband Steve live in Jamesport and have four young adult children. Their youngest, Johanna, is a teenager with special needs. Eileen can be reached at FreeIndeedFreelance.com.